Unfortunately, this is a true story

Golly, I'm posting a whole heckufalot today

Yes, this is a true story.

I'm at mini-mart (again) and I don't remeber what I was getting, but that's not the point. I get to the front of the line, and It's now my turn to perform the seemingly innocuous task known as "paying for your stuff". We've all done it, and for the most part it's an enjoyable experience.

Things can and do change.

On this particular day, the clerk does what she is supposed to do , and tells me the total of my stuff: "$3.58", she For some reason that I will never ever know, I thought she said, and this is so horribly true, I thought she said "what is your name"? so, I gave her a weird look and said: "Jeff".

This would have been bad, but recoverable had it ended there. Sadly, it did not. Let's not forget that there are other people still waiting in line and that unlike me, they don't share the hearing impediment I seem to have today.

She then looked at me with an even weirder look than I just gave her and repeated herself, because I'm sure she'd never heard that response to what she had just said. She said "$3.58" again. However, this time I thought she said "what is your FULL name?" and I wish to the heavens above that I was making this up. So, not to be one to lose a "weird look" contest, shot her the weirdest one I could muster, and proceded to say "Jeff......Stanley...?".

Yes, that is exactly what I said.

At this point, I can't understand why she needs this information in the first place, unless she decided to pick a really weird time to hit on me. And I'm sure her thought process must have been along the lines of "how arrogant is this guy that he thinks his name can just pay for his stuff". Or, more likely "this is why you don't do drugs", or something along those lines, and the people in line behind me must have been right along with her.

In any case, she told me the total again, and this time it all clicked, all at once, at an almost dizzying pace. I realized she hadn't been asking my name, but telling me the total of my items, which when you think about it, actually makes more sense than asking for my name.

I decided that I should explain my actions at this time, so I started to tell her why I was telling my name to her, twice, and realized that what she said sounds nothing like what I thought she said, so in order to keep from sounding even more like an idiot, I just handed her the cash and left.

I haven't been back since.