Unfortunately, this is a true story

Golly, I'm posting a whole heckufalot today

Yes, this is a true story.

I'm at mini-mart (again) and I don't remeber what I was getting, but that's not the point. I get to the front of the line, and It's now my turn to perform the seemingly innocuous task known as "paying for your stuff". We've all done it, and for the most part it's an enjoyable experience.

Things can and do change.

On this particular day, the clerk does what she is supposed to do , and tells me the total of my stuff: "$3.58", she For some reason that I will never ever know, I thought she said, and this is so horribly true, I thought she said "what is your name"? so, I gave her a weird look and said: "Jeff".

This would have been bad, but recoverable had it ended there. Sadly, it did not. Let's not forget that there are other people still waiting in line and that unlike me, they don't share the hearing impediment I seem to have today.

She then looked at me with an even weirder look than I just gave her and repeated herself, because I'm sure she'd never heard that response to what she had just said. She said "$3.58" again. However, this time I thought she said "what is your FULL name?" and I wish to the heavens above that I was making this up. So, not to be one to lose a "weird look" contest, shot her the weirdest one I could muster, and proceded to say "Jeff......Stanley...?".

Yes, that is exactly what I said.

At this point, I can't understand why she needs this information in the first place, unless she decided to pick a really weird time to hit on me. And I'm sure her thought process must have been along the lines of "how arrogant is this guy that he thinks his name can just pay for his stuff". Or, more likely "this is why you don't do drugs", or something along those lines, and the people in line behind me must have been right along with her.

In any case, she told me the total again, and this time it all clicked, all at once, at an almost dizzying pace. I realized she hadn't been asking my name, but telling me the total of my items, which when you think about it, actually makes more sense than asking for my name.

I decided that I should explain my actions at this time, so I started to tell her why I was telling my name to her, twice, and realized that what she said sounds nothing like what I thought she said, so in order to keep from sounding even more like an idiot, I just handed her the cash and left.

I haven't been back since.

Get your hankies out, kiddies.

Ok, so let's lay on the sappy romance, turn on some soft jazz, draw the curtains, shut the lights. It's proposal time.

Google, we've known each other for a while now. Just like any relationship, we've had our good times and bad, up's and down's, cliche's and over used antithesis's. But now, I think it's time you made an honest man out of me. Ok, so I'm actually already married, so this isn't starting out all that honest, but at least I'm telling you now. Also, I'm not really sure if you're a guy or a girl, so honeymoon night might be really, really akward. But I'm willing to look past all of that. You've really been there for me, even through the bad stuff. You've made me laugh (remember when I would type "weapons of mass destruction" into your search field, and you would take me to a page that said you could not find weapons of mass destruction...) You've made me cry (I'm a Broncos fan, and you constantly remind of their latest scores). But you support me, my earliest web pages (bringinmoustacheback.googlepages.com), my blogs, and you've even looked past the naked picture searches I've made without judging me (I think...are you judging me?) And I think it's time we take it to the next level.

Google, will you marry me?

P.S. This has nothing to do with the money I heard you might be worth.

Rantings of a man who can rant (man, can this man rant)

This may be off topic (just what is the topic here, anyway?), but I'm in line at my local Mini-mart (loaf and jug, convenience store, whatever, just keep up), getting a slurpie and a footlong (this post will not degrade into pornography, I promise) when the guy getting gas outside comes inside, foregoes the line completely, throws to the clerk what is presumably enough to cover his petrol, and then leaves without so much as a word. No; I'm sorry, he did say "gas" before throwing the money at the clerk.

Wow.

I've never really been for this whole humans hunting humans game I've heard so much about (you know... people with too much money get to hunt people with not nearly enough). I'd vote against it if it ever came up on a ballot. However, there should be a few exceptions. Why is it that this person who was outside pumping gas gets to skip the line comlpetely when I've actually been in the store longer than him? Does he think that fuel will go bad that quickly? I currently don't have a solution for this problem, but I am dropping my search for a cure for cancer to look for a solution to this one. Mark my words, there will be no more gasoline line cutters in the near future. Not in my utopia.

Also, Lemons are really sour. What's up with that?

NBC's Phenomenon

Is it just me, or did the "fight" between Criss Angel and Jim Callahan seem a little rehearsed? It didn't feel like a real honest-to-God, man-did-you-see-that, wow-am-I-glad-I'm-not-one-of-them, almost-fight. If it was real, man, that was cool.

I hate shows like that, when you're thinking "if this is real, it just one of the coolest things I've ever seen, but if not, how lame is that?" I think it is very noble of criss to go after these so called paranormalists and yada yada yada, but if that was planned for some ratings thing, then I feel a little sorry for everybody invloved with that show.

I guess time will tell (hopefully, but probably not....)

magicians, anyone?

Ok, so I know that nobody reads this blog (I haven't put anything new in almost a year, my fault, not yours), but are there any magicians in the Casper, WY area at all? Am I the only one? Somebody, please tell me you are out there! I will send U.S. $1.00 to the first magician from Casper, WY to contact me at --jongefing@gmail.com-- Thanks for playing.

Yes, that's right, that will be one dollar of my very own money. Good luck, and godspeed.

P.S. Take out the dashes before and after the Email address. I put them there to trip up bots trolling my page and stupid people.

P.P.S. If you were tricked by the dashes, I wasn't calling you stupid, I was talking about the other people.

I'm actually just testing the limits of this blog. This should be a video of my son watching live video of himself. He calls it the Matthew show, and would ask to watch the Matthew show daily.

This is a picture of some cows